An American Girl in Avignon

May 29, 2009
I came to a frightening realization today. Starting tomorrow, I will have only two weeks left in France. Vraiment, France, vraiment? Where has my spring ran off to? Time is such I fleeting thing. Part of me feels like I just got here, but the other part of me feels like I have lived here for years and am never going home. If you were to ask me when I wanted to come home, honestly, at this moment and time, my reply would be, “Never.” I’m highly considering chaining myself to a pillar at Versailles and never coming home… “Dear Mom and dad, please save yourselves some time tomorrow by not calling the police when I don’t get off the plane. I have decided to extend my stay in France. Merci.” Of course, I am only joking, and I only say this before I start thinking about everyone back in the US that I want to see. Still, more time here would be wonderful. This experience is unlike any other, and I really would love to stay longer…but the plane tickets have already been bought, and I need a job. It’s back to reality for me…
Speaking of reality, Martine revealed to us some information that brought us all back down to earth. Since our water heater is still broken, we have been using the shower at Martine’s neighbor’s apartment upstairs. The truth can be a shocking thing: this woman is an alcoholic. She has been this way for ten years. Although her apartment wasn’t disgusting, it wasn’t clean, and Martine said that it was “a cause de l’alcool.” The woman did seem a little loopy, but I just assumed that this was her personality. Seemingly friendly, I did not hesitate to ask her to take pictures of the gorgeous view off of her balcony or to plop myself on the sofa and watch the French version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire while waiting for Sakinah to be finished with her shower. Looking back, the signs were there, I just didn’t seem them: empty bottles, wine breath; I just assumed that the few bottles and mess were caused by her son. Although her sickness has spanned over ten years, Martine said that things were slowly but surely improving. It made me sad to think that a woman as kind as her could struggle with something so horrible. What gets me more is that her twenty-two year old son who lives in a loft above her apartment seems to not be helping the situation at all. Martine has been kind to the woman and even had her own son talk to the son of Martine. They are in denial. The first step to recovery is recognizing the fact that you have a problem and overcoming denial. Sometime this can be one of the most difficult things to do.

Poor Martine. She is having some difficulties with her boss. He is treating her unfairly, overworking her, and refers to her as “la vieille” old woman. I am sorry, but I don’t know who you think you are, but that s vraiment unacceptable. I don’t understand why anyone would treat someone as kind as Martine like that. People are horrible sometimes. She was very nervous this morning, because she had a meeting with her director to discuss her situation. When she returned this afternoon, she had a smile on her face. Things are looking up.

Today, I finally gave my oral presentation. Oh my…that was interesting. When I ran home after history class to get some last minute preparation in, my internet would not work at all (I found out later that this was because my WiFi button had been turned off). Also, my flash drive wasn’t working properly, so I couldn’t send the professor my presentation before I gave it like we were supposed to…I hope that he doesn’t take off points. Not having much time to practice, me and my roomies sat around the kitchen table with our laptops, scanning over our power points at the last minute (I had to convert it three times to get to the right version!), and drank the white wine that came from Nimes (town I visited earlier in the program) we had bought at the supermarket. Why can I always speak French better after a glass of wine? Maybe there is some phenomenon where people revert to their second languages after drinking? I need to Google it...It is going to be so weird going home and wondering, “So why can’t I have wine with my dinner?” Oh yeah…it’s illegal. It’s so weird to think that now after being in France, the wine capital of the world, and having it all the time. Anyway, after that, I went off to class, feeling confident, but when I got there, (of course we were late, as usual,) someone had already started theirs. I was supposed to be first. Oops. When it was finally time for me to go, I walked up there with confidence, only to realize that I had pulled up the wrong flash drive file and had gotten through three slides of my project before noticing I was presenting the unedited version. I apologized, had to find out what the problem was (which took another ten minutes), then had to start over. This was not a good way to start off.

My first half went pretty well, but then, my speaking and confidence wore off after I stopped to ask a question and the professor jumped in. I lost my rhythm after that. My presentation was way, way too long, I was sweating like a pig, and I’m pretty positive that I bored everyone out of their minds. In spite of this, the professor seemed impressed with all of the work I had done and told me “excellent travail,” after I was finished. Maybe I need to give myself more credit. After all, you are your toughest critic. I bs-ed every single answer to all of the questions he asked me afterwards, and amazingly enough, it sounded like I knew what I was talking about. Miracles happen. Whew, I am so glad that it over with!

Normally, I don’t have a problem speaking in front of people and get a rush from performing. The times I stutter/make an idiot out of myself are when: I’m speaking in a foreign language, talking to a guy a like (oh…the stupid things I have said and done because of nerves and fear. Trust me, they are bang-you-head-against-the-wall worthy), or times when I’ve been just plain nervous or scared. Thank God that this is over! Oh wait…that’s right, I have two large papers due Tuesday, an exam on Wednesday, another on Thursday, two projects to finish, and two more exams the following week. Thank goodness I have Marseille, our last week of basically kindergarten work so we can enjoy our last few moments abroad, and Paris to look forward to! In spite of the work, we always seem to find time for fun! For example, I am leaving in a few minutes to go to a new club in town. Yeah, I love Avignon.
Excursion to Marseille tomorrow… super excited about this! It’s time for the Grand Finale!